Kairi's ABC's
by Chasyn
Summary: Guess what Selphie? I know my ABC's!


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Nor do I own the song "Gay Boyfriend" that's mentioned. The Hazzards do. I just love them! And there's also a reference to the song "Malchik Gay" by TaTu.  
**Warnings:** Rated K+. Nothing bad. Hints at Sora being gay.  
**Notes:** Part of a series study I did of Kairi a few years ago. It's been rewritten.

Edited on June 16, since I changed my username.

**Kairi's ABC's**

One day, a teenage girl with red brown shoulder length hair was taking a walk in the park. Her name was Kairi. And on that same day, her best girl friend, Selphie, was taking a walk in the very same park. The flippy-haired brunette spotted Kairi first. She smiled and waved.

"Hey Selphie?" Kairi exclaimed loudly as she ran over.

Selphie smiled as Kairi drew closer. "Yeah Kairi?"

Her large, red brown eyes opened wide in excitement. "Guess what?"

"I don't know. What?" Selphie's own eyes opened wide in anticipation, feeling her friend's enthusiasm.

Kairi stood up straight and proud as she answered. "I know my ABC's!"

That stopped Selphie short. "Uh… that's good." She said slowly and tilted her head to the side. "But didn't we learn them in like kindergarten?"

"I don't remember." Kairi shrugged. "I was like five. Do you remember being five?"

Selphie tilted her head to the other side, thinking. "Well… not really."

Kairi smiled and pointed. "There! See?"

"See what?" Selphie asked as she looked to where her friend was pointing.

"SEE!" Kairi insisted.

Shaking her head, the brunette turned back. "I don't get it. What's your point Kairi?"

With a sigh, the girl in question threw up her arms. "My point is that I know my ABC's!"

"Oh…" Selphie opened her mouth to say more but closed it. She wasn't sure how to respond.

Kairi pouted slightly. "You don't believe me, do you?"

Selphie shook her head quickly and held up her hands. "No! Of course I believe you…"

But all Kairi heard was no. "Fine! Then I'll just prove it to you!"

"You're going to what?" Selphie stepped back slowly, catching Kairi's wide eyes.

Kairi turned slightly and cleared her throat. Then with a smile, she began to sing. "A is for acorn because my head is shaped like one…"

Selphie took another step back as her friend began to dance around.

"B is for brave because they say I am. C is for cute because…" She cocked her hips to the side and smiled innocently. "I'm just so darn cute! D is for dandelions because they're yellow…"

"Yellow?" Selphie tilted her head to the side again.

Kairi ignored her as she swirled about in a circle. "E is for elephants because they're so mellow."

"Wait a minute!" Selphie said loudly, shaking her head and stepping forward to stop her friend.

Kairi stopped her dancing and turned towards the brunette. "Yes?"

"What does yellow have to do with the letter D? And mellow with elephants?""

Kairi rolled her eyes. "Were you even LISTENING to my song, Selphie? Dandelions are yellow and elephants are mellow."

Selphie shook her head slowly. "But why?"

"Because it rhymes!" Kairi said with a duh look on her face. "Now back to my song! Where was I…" She lifted a finger to tap it on her chin as she thought.

"F." Selphie offered.

"Right!" Kairi nodded and began to sing again. "F is for Fail because I'm good at school!"

Selphie opened her mouth to comment but then thought better of it.

"G is for…" Kairi raised her arms and began spinning in a tight circle. "My gay boyfriend, gay boyfriend. I don't really care if you are queer!"

Selphie's mouth dropped open. "Kairi… Sora is your boyfriend…" She pointed out.

Kairi tossed Selphie a smile before she continued on. "H is for the Hazzards because they sing the Gay Boyfriend song…"

"Oh…" Selphie nodded to herself. "It's a song… within a song… about the alphabet…" She said slowly.

"I is for ice cream, it's really cold! J is for that jerk Xemnas! And K comes next and that is for Kairi! And that is just a lovely naaaaaaaame!" Kairi's voice rang out loudly as she held the last note.

Selphie flinched and lifted her hands to cover her ears.

"Next comes L and that means lonely cause I was lonely when I was left alooooone! M is for malchik gay and that means gay boy in Russian!"

"And how do you know that?" Selphie had uncovered her ears and stepped closer to her friend. "Since when do you speak Russian?"

Kairi sighed and stopped to answer her friend. "I don't speak Russian but there's a song by TaTu called Malchik Gay! And it means gay boy in Russian!" She gritted her teeth slightly. "NOW STOP INTERRUPTING ME!"

Selphie raised her arms, relenting, and stepped back.

With a nod, Kairi started to sing off key again, "N is for nobodys like Roxas and Axel because they were cool! O is for the object of my affection because it kinda rhymes with Russian! P is for the paupo fruit I never tasted and Q means queen because I'm a princess!"

Selphie stepped farther away from her friend as she noticed the group of on lookers that had formed a circle around them.

"R is for rain… uh… bows! Rainbows because they are collllllorfuuuuul!" Kairi was oblivious to the laughing, staring, and pointing that was directed at her. She was lost in her own little world of letters. "S is for Sora! My gay boyfriend, gay boyfriend, I never feel lonely when you are near!"

Selphie shook her head slowly as she scanned the crowd. Hopefully said boyfriend wouldn't show up.

"T is for turtlenecks because they're itchy and U is for the underwear that I'm not wearing!"

"Kairi!" Selphie snapped as the crowd around them laughed louder.

Still oblivious, Kairi leapt towards Selphie and began to dance around her. "V is for Vitreous Mistress! She's the writer!

"Uh... she's a he now, named Chasyn... so that doesn't really work..."

Kairi ignored the comment and continued. "W is for winner because we're the winners! Y is for yaoi because gay boys are sooo damn cute! And Z is for Zelda! Because she's a princess just like meeeee!" She grabbed Selphie's wrists and began spinning around with her. "Now I've sung my ABC's, next time won't you sing with me?" She sang out finally and dropped Selphie's wrists.

After a while, the crowd around them dispersed quickly when they saw that Kairi was indeed done singing.

"See?" Kairi tilted her head to the side, beaming. "I told you I knew my ABC's!"

Selphie nodded slowly, still not believing that her friend had done that in a public place. "You forgot one though."

Eyes widening, Kairi gasped. "No! I did? Oh great!" She threw up her arms in exasperation. "Now I'm going to have to START ALL OVER!"

This time, Selphie's eyes widened. "NO!"


End file.
